As soon as I told my mother in law the news,she stood there in shock. Looking like a 47 yr old bangladeshi woman who wasn’t ready to be a grandmother. I must say,being only 2 and half months into the marriage I wasn’t expecting this reaction but to be honest I don’t think she was either. Eventually (what seemed like forever) my mother in law smiled and hugged me. Unsure of whether she was happy and being the new bride I was, I asked, “Is that okay?” Almost seeking approval of whether the gift of a grandchild would be accepted.
Earlier on in the day she called my husband to ask me to chop some onions for her before she came home. I readily accepted this, however my little unborn child wasn’t too accepting of this and made me sick 3-4 times whilst chopping the onions (it’s okay baby,mummy still loves you). And for this reason I felt like it was the right time to tell my mother in law so she could sympathise,although me and my husband decided we weren’t going to tell anyone until I was three months pregnant.
Literally,within 20 minutes of telling my mother in law, she was on the phone to her sisters,her mother and her brothers telling them the news. The majority seemed shocked (which is understandable,everyone to some degree always is) but one phone call in particular caught my attention, the wife of her youngest brother. (Always seeming to disapprove with life choices and circumstances of others unless it somehow puts her back in the limelight). “Oh my god,already?!” She screamed in a tone that suggested I couldn’t keep my legs crossed, not knowing that I could hear absolutely everything. I recall a conversation with her a few weeks prior to this where she advised that I take a couple of years out before thinking of enjoying a baby. (Each to their own).
From then on,every other day until I reached the stage where I was very visibly pregnant I had others make the same remark. I even had a conversation with someone who asked me my due date and then calculated back to when I could have conceived with the hope that I conceived before I got married. (Well I’m sorry to disappoint you lady, that didn’t happen) leaving you not much to gossip about.
Overall living newly with my in laws,husband and being pregnant from the get go ( literally perhaps the day after the wedding) it had been the most difficult time of my life. With tantrums, remarks being thrown at me by my mother in law and sister in law about my weight and my overall look (I was pregnant!) It eventually took its toll on me and was having a huge impact on my marriage.
There were times when I expressed that I was feeling suicidal to my husband and I was told that I was being silly and to make effort with my new family… my honeymoon period was over within two weeks of being married! Little did I know that things were going to get worse…
stay tuned to find out what happened when my little bundle of joy was born and the difficulties I faced…